Help me out - loneliness
Loneliness can affect anyone, and it can make you feel really down.
What is loneliness?
Loneliness is when you feel sad or low because you feel alone.
It鈥檚 not the same as just being alone; some people really enjoy doing things by themselves, and like to relax and enjoy some 鈥榤e time鈥 occasionally.
There are two types of loneliness 鈥
When you don鈥檛 see people very often and feel isolated.
When you are often around other people, but don鈥檛 feel like they pay attention to you, care for you or understand you.
Either way, the feeling of being alone or unable to connect with other people can be upsetting and really affect your wellbeing.
What can cause loneliness?
You might feel lonely if 鈥
You find it hard to make friends
You鈥檝e recently moved schools or to a new place
You have been bullied
Someone close to you has died or moved away
You feel like you don鈥檛 get on with your family
You feel like you don鈥檛 fit in
You find it hard to relate to others or get nervous in social situations
How can loneliness affect you?
As human beings, most of us like to connect with others and spend time with the people we care about, and who care about us.
So when this doesn鈥檛 happen often, it can make us feel sad, upset or low.
If you experience loneliness, you might feel like you鈥檙e missing out on activities which other people are enjoying.
Feeling lonely can also be a vicious cycle 鈥 where the loneliness knocks your confidence, and then you find it harder to reach out to others or make new friends.
There are some steps you can take if you're feeling lonely
What to do if you feel lonely?
Everybody feels lonely sometimes, and it鈥檚 nothing to feel embarrassed about.
It doesn鈥檛 mean you鈥檝e done something wrong or that you deserve to be on your own.
But recognising it is important so you can take positive steps to stop feeling lonely.
The good news is that there are some things you can do to tackle loneliness and boost your happiness.
Think about all the amazing things about yourself 鈥 you are an awesome person with loads of unique and interesting qualities (sometimes that can be easy to forget!).
If you can build your self-esteem, you might find it easier to talk to others without feeling anxious.
If you feel like your family don鈥檛 understand you very well, try talking to them about how you feel and the things you鈥檙e into right now. You鈥檙e growing up and changing fast, so they maybe just need a few pointers to keep up with the person you are becoming. It can sometimes be聽difficult to talk to parents if you haven鈥檛 for a while, but it鈥檚 worth persevering!
Be brave and take that first step 鈥 talk to new people. Try chatting to a new person in class about homework, or give them a compliment 鈥 even a quick chat can build your confidence. And if that person doesn鈥檛 respond, don鈥檛 give up! Try chatting to someone else.
Join a new club or group 鈥 it could be a sports team, a music class or a book group. You will meet new people who share some of your interests, so you鈥檒l automatically have something to talk about!
It starts with just one person! You don鈥檛 have to have a gaggle of friends 鈥 having just one can make a big difference, and usually that one will lead to others anyway.
If lonely feelings are really getting you down, don鈥檛 keep them to yourself 鈥 tell an adult, like a parent or teacher, how you feel and get some help.
For more information about organisations which offer advice and support, check out the Advice Helplines page.