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You're so fat , you make a better door than a window !

You're so skinny , when you go for an X-Ray , they just stand you near the window !

If you are a psychic why do you need adverts to know when the convention is being held ?

You're such a good singer , tell me where you are next and I can go elsewhere !

They should have slapped your mother when YOU were born !

You've got a face only a mother could love !

You were obviously at the back of the queue when bums were handed out !

I hope you haven't got a twin , one of you is enough !

I see nature does make mistakes !

How old are you ? Physically , not mentally !

I see the facelift didn't work then . . . .

When are they going to finish your nose job ?

Is that you or did I stand in something ?

Has your plastic surgeon been struck off yet ?

Where did you get that mask , it's so realistic . . . . ooops sorry !

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