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 From Sheridan Voysey, Writer and broadcaster:

I first met my friend Malcolm Duncan at a conference some years ago. His confidence on the stage was astounding given his troubled background. Malcolm grew up in a chaotic home. As a teenager he became desperate for approval and felt falsely responsible for his family’s problems. This led to a daily ritual of verbal self-harm. Each morning he would go into the bathroom, look in the mirror and say out loud to himself:

‘You are stupid, you are ugly, and it’s your fault.’

Malcolm’s words may have been extreme but I don’t think he was alone in the sentiment. When Winston Churchill turned 80, an artist was commissioned to paint his portrait. When Churchill saw it, he was so unhappy with the slouching figure staring back at him he hid the painting in his cellar, that his wife secretly had it destroyed! Each year thousands of people legally change their names—for some, it’s an attempt to leave an old self behind.

Malcolm’s destructive morning mantra continued into his twenties. Then one night he had a profound experience at a concert of the singer-songwriter Larry Norman. Of all the things Norman said that night, Malcolm remembered these words:

‘Nothing you can do will ever make God love you more.

‘Nothing you can do will ever make God love you less, and

‘You will never disillusion God because he never had any illusions about you in the first place.’

Malcolm told me those three sentences dropped like seeds into his soul and began sprouting a new self-image. After that night he wept for three weeks straight. Friends worried he was having a breakdown, but Malcom sensed this was divine surgery—the rejection of his childhood being cleared away.

Finally, one morning, Malcolm woke, went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and realised the voice whispering that he was stupid, ugly and at fault had gone. He looked in that mirror and instead said out loud:

‘You are loved, you are beautiful, you are gifted, and it’s not your fault.’

Malcolm has gone on to lead churches and direct numerous community organisations. Twenty-seven years later, he still whispers those words into the mirror each day, reminding himself that in God’s eyes he is loved, beautiful and gifted.  And, I believe, so are we.