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Last Thursday the House of Bishops of the Church of England issued what they called a pastoral statement on the question of civil partnerships, insisting that because such relationships may involve sex, the church is unable to bless them. Sex, they insist, should only take place in the context of heterosexual marriage.

Now this is traditional church teaching, and however much I profoundly disagree with it, it didn’t come as all that much of a surprise. But what was disappointing was that this was a so-called pastoral statement containing absolutely no pastoral advice as to what a parish priest like myself might say to the gay and lesbian members of my congregation.

And so it was that I made my way into church on Sunday morning with some considerable degree of discomfort. I prepared myself for making the inevitable apologies – though, as it happened, most of those I know to be in committed same-sex partnerships didn’t show up. I suppose that’s unsurprising, really. Why would you go to church to hear the way you express your love for another human being traduced from the pulpit? If that sort of thing was directed to me, I’m pretty sure I might just prefer to stay in a warm bed on Sunday mornings and cuddle up to my partner.

Again and again, the bishops say that gay and lesbian people are valued members of the church and beloved of God. Again and again, they are made to feel totally the opposite. And given that the church is prepared to offer it’s blessing to ships of war but withholds it from committed and loving relationships, I can rather see their point.

Some bishops have been brave enough to come out against this latest statement. And many others are much more sympathetic to gay and lesbian Christians in private than they are in public. That’s fine as far as it goes. But it is also part of the problem. A common criticism of the church is that it doesn’t practice what it preaches. But the way I see it, it doesn’t always preach what it practises.

So this is what I do say to gay Christians in my congregation. First, I tell them that their priest disagrees with the bishops. Then I say that the church is not some exclusive club meant only for those who think the same way. Thankfully, the church is bigger than that. The church is the beloved people of God – beautiful, broken and believing - and we come in a great many shades of political and moral opinion, as well as many sexual orientations. In fact, that’s what I love about the church. And being conflicted about an organisation that I both love - yet also often despair of - is not a sign of disloyalty. It’s a mark of maturity.

And finally I say that we all stand in need of God’s love, judgment and forgiveness – even bishops.

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