麻豆社

Good morning. This week, women are encouraged to stay home and not go to clubs or bars in protest against drink spiking. The so-called 鈥済irls night in鈥� campaign was prompted by reports that the practice is rife in nightlife, with women the primary victims. The protest means to put pressure on venues to act decisively to protect women.

The problem of men鈥檚 violence against women has hardly been out of the news lately, though it鈥檚 often simply termed 鈥榲iolence against women鈥�, without acknowledging the gendered source of the violence, from the murder of Sarah Everard to low conviction rates for sexual violence in this country, or, further afield, stories of women in Afghanistan being imprisoned while criminals go free. But solutions are elusive. Women staying in may put pressure on venues, but ultimately it puts the responsibility for safety onto women. Too often, keeping women safe means hiding them, curtailing their freedom, voluntarily or not.
This is why language matters: we can鈥檛 simply speak of 鈥榲iolence against women鈥�; we need to speak of the source and reason for this violence, to have conversations about masculinity, and how, as human beings, we, men and women, raise our boys to inhabit the world more gently and respectfully. It isn鈥檛 just a women鈥檚 problem, or a men鈥檚 problem, but a human problem that we can only tackle together.

It鈥檚 not a new problem. Victim blaming goes back a long way. The Old Testament story of King David has him spying on a woman bathing, then summoning the woman, Bathsheba, to his bed, with all the might of a king, and murdering her husband. Interpreters have often blamed Bathsheba, rather than the voyeuristic king who grossly abuses his power. Hundreds of years later, Jesus picks up the question with characteristic flair: he tells his male audience that if they 鈥榮ee鈥� a woman, what they do is their responsibility. It鈥檚 not the woman鈥檚 responsibility to change, but the men鈥檚: 鈥榠f your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out鈥�. The remedy is drastic, deliberately exaggerated. But is makes the point. The question is, today, how do we, too, have these conversations?
Fruitful conversations need to move away from external factors, and deal with both individual choices, and the culture we create. It starts with how we tell our stories, portrayals of men and women in the media, and the kind of world we imagine. Maybe as girls have a night in, they can invite men to join them to start the conversation, together, for a better future.