麻豆社

This week, Russian television brought us pictures of some of the 1,000 Ukrainians fighters from the steel works Mariupol being taken to Russian-controlled territory. Their future is uncertain 鈥� hopefully the involvement of the Red Cross means that they will be treated according to international law as prisoners of war. How sworn enemies deal with people they鈥檝e captured is perhaps the biggest test of humanity.

In wartime - but also in daily life - we build mental fortresses of hatred. We think they fortify and protect us.
I believe it may feel easier to hate than love. Love often evokes risk, vulnerability, and fear of rejection. Just think about falling in love, how scary is that.
But hate feels solid, reassuring, buffering against disturbing experiences. Hatred seems to serve us well. Hate powers, fuels, and motivates. With global fears and mental ill-health skyrocketing, it鈥檚 tempting to avoid our fears and project them instead onto the hatred of a multitude of others 鈥� seemingly perfect enemies 鈥� countries, peoples or just your colleagues, friends, or family.

Though hatred of enemies may be tempting, the Hebrew book of Proverbs is clear - 鈥渄on鈥檛 rejoice when your enemy falls, don鈥檛 let your heart sing when they collapse.鈥� The Talmud tells of how when Pharoah鈥檚 army drowned in the Red Sea, the angels wanted to join the Israelites singing, but God reprimanded them. 鈥淚 also created them and they鈥檙e drowning in the sea, and you want to sing?鈥�

I learnt directly about war, albeit a very different kind of war, facilitating dialogue between Palestinians and Israelis - including Palestinians who鈥檇 spent time in Israeli prisons and Israelis who still served as reserve soldiers. Two groups of enemies sharing horrors, hopes and humous. It was excruciatingly uncomfortable. One late night over too much caffeine and nicotine, they asked each other, 鈥渨hy are you here, you鈥檝e committed so much violence against us?鈥� I was taken aback by the similarity of response: 鈥渋t was easier to hate before we鈥檇 met an Israeli,鈥� or 鈥楽omething shattered inside me when I listened to a Palestinian who鈥檇 also lost family and friends鈥�, said another, 鈥淚 know now we鈥檙e both just people, and we have to talk, however painful鈥�.

Despite the apparent comfort of the impulse to hate, our enemies breathe the same air as we do, they have the same terrors and the same capacity to love. There will be no peace anywhere 鈥� in our workplaces, in our law courts or between nations, unless enemy talks to enemy 鈥� however uncomfortable that may be.

Show less