麻豆社

Many years ago, I had a disagreement with a friend, 鈥楧o you want to know how this looks to me?鈥� I asked him.
鈥楴o,鈥� he said, 鈥業 prefer to stick with my own view.鈥�

I can鈥檛 remember what we were talking about. But that response still sticks in my gut.

When we refuse to expose ourselves to the other person鈥檚 story, to how the world feels to them, everything, from our most intimate relationships to our communities and societies and international relations, is endangered.

Last week Archbishop Justin Welby said ruefully that, since the war between Israel and Hamas, interfaith dialogue in the UK has all but collapsed.
Mercifully, it hasn鈥檛 entirely. I鈥檝e been privileged to participate in several small groups of Jews, Muslims and Christians. We鈥檝e begun with the comfort of tea and cake. But then we鈥檝e entered our discomfort zones. It isn鈥檛 easy to hear how life hurts in the other person鈥檚 world. The Hebrew Bible has a beautiful idiom, 鈥楽peak to the heart鈥�. We can鈥檛 speak to someone else鈥檚 heart if we don鈥檛 first listen to it.

The first time I visited a Palestinian home in East Jerusalem I looked out at the view and thought: 鈥業 recognise that street across the valley; I know that place.鈥� But I鈥檇 never been here, on this side of the wadi, and looked across it from this family鈥檚 window. The experience changed me.

I often wish people would look at the world through my window, my eyes as a Jew, closely connected to Israel, worried for people I love. Being shunned hurts. Antisemitism hurts. A congregant鈥檚 granddaughter got a text from her best schoolmate: 鈥淚 can鈥檛 be your friend anymore.鈥� As if she was responsible for the Middle East.

There are many people, from politicians to social media hate-mongers who want us to live in embattled parallel worlds, where 鈥楳y truth trumps your truth鈥�; actually, where 鈥榶our truth isn鈥檛 true at all.鈥�

It鈥檚 alluring to stick with our own, with like-minded people. We need that sometimes; we have our loyalties. But we also need to listen to what feels true to other people, and other faiths.

Sometimes truths can be proved; they鈥檙e a matter of empirical investigation, like who won an election. But often truth is nuanced, composed of multiple experiences. That鈥檚 why only God is called 鈥榯he true judge鈥�, because God alone sees to everyone鈥檚 heart.

But we too, in our limited ways, need to hear the truths in each other鈥檚 hearts. Only when we hold each other鈥檚 pain, alongside our own, can we truly work for healing.

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