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After a bout of promiscuous and unprotected thinking, John’s been in a panic sphere. He’s only gone and given himself a mind STD, but could some watermelon body wash be to blame?

All this leads to a full circle moment for Elis. He might be headlining the Royal Albert Hall next year, but is the realisation of his long-touted ‘health podcast’ actually his career zenith?

Listener JB sends in a cracking impressions-based Made Up Game, and we take a harrowing trip down John’s Shame Well.

Do you want to feed the Elis and John content machine with your very own correspondence? Then send it to hello@elisandjohn.com right away.