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Guide Entry: Planet Earth
by Ann Cooper
This little-known planet enjoyed a short period of popularity as a destination for short holidays, especially for experimental scientists, but then went out of fashion. It is still worth considering for its refreshing insularity.
Efforts are being made to increase its attractiveness to visitors by improving the background heating and eliminating surplus lower life-forms to give a more contemporary, minimalist feel to the environmental décor. A minority of hide bound conservationists have been trying to block this modernisation but luckily with little real success. But unless you are a keen skier, don’t put off your visit off for too long as the planet is overdue for an ice age.
What to do:
Water-breathing life-forms can be sure of a welcome and will relish the wide range of scenic and cultural attractions. The Challenger Club, (bottom of the Mariana Trench) is highly recommended. The unsociable could try the North Sea- nowadays sparsely populated.
The recreational options for gas-breathers are generally more limited, as these areas are poorly developed.
Martial arts fans will relish the almost continuous fixture list, though the keenly anticipated USA v Russia grudge-match derby appears to have been called off.
Hikers with access to a time-machine should be sure to take in a Jurassic period safari. Excellent hunting.
Getting There:
Public transport routes to Earth are very disorganised. The last reliable timetable, (Kennedy, published 1961) is now out of date.
The Russian terminus now serves local routes only. Try the Nevada area for private taxis, though you will find local officials are apt to deny their existence.
No facilities for silicon-based life-forms.
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