A misunderstanding over a garden gate brought neighbours Ellen and Mohammed together
Ray Kershaw visited neighbours Mohammed and Ellen in their homes. Mohammed had moved from Bangladesh to the UK 10 years ago, and moved with his family next door to Ellen and her family about 4 years ago. The neighbours didn鈥檛 really get to know each other but they were always civil, saying hello when they saw one another and the children playing happily together.
However, the relationship deteriorated when a gate suddenly appeared. "I thought that Mohammed had put up a gate across the passageway without asking, blocking my walk through," said Ellen.
Ellen made her anger known: "I just assumed Mohammed had put it up. I ignored him, gave him dirty looks and made it obvious that I was annoyed." Mohammed had been away on holiday and when he returned he realised the relationship had changed but he didn鈥檛 know it was serious. "She just ignored me." Despite the tension between the two neighbours, the children were kept out of it and carried on playing together.
Eventually Ellen took steps to sort out the problem when it started to get her down. "A friend told me about Face to Face, a mediation service. I contacted them and they made an appointment for us." The first Mohammed heard of all this was by telephone, "I received a call saying my next door neighbour had complained about me. I was very surprised. I agreed to go to a meeting to find out more."
In the end what it boiled down to was a lack of communication. Ellen can laugh now, "It wasn鈥檛 even Mohammed that had put up the gate, it was the council! I鈥檓 ashamed now."
Since attending the mediation appointment, the neighbours really are good friends. They often share a cuppa and a chat, even over the garden gate. Ellen has learnt a valuable lesson, "It is silly to keep something inside yourself, it just grows and grows. It isn鈥檛 worth it, just for the sake of a few words."
For further information about mediation services go to our Links page.
