Listener Una McMorran sent this into Home Truths in response to the recent lion exploits.
Great Uncle Wallace said to me
"I've had my revenge - organically.
Once ate a boy in Blackpool town
And it's been hard to live it down.
Ramsbottom, Albert, was his name,
He caused me infamy and shame,
He showed no respect, showed no fear,
Just ups and pokes me in the ear,
So I despatched the little pest
And all his clothes down to his vest.
Oh I was blamed - a great to-do,
They called the police and closed the zoo.
But folks came to see the blood
They came in hundreds like a flood,
I kept unruly crowds at bay
By spraying them with pee each day,
Always aiming for their faces
I could score at twenty paces.
Passed on his art of self-defence
Of how to target and dispense
The pee from lion pit cage or booth
Upon the listeners of Home Truths
