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One of the funniest moments I can remember in the House of Commons happened 30 years ago when the then Labour Shadow Chancellor John Smith mocked the tensions between 10 and 11 Downing Street – occupied by Margaret Thatcher and Nigel Lawson - with his rendition of the theme song from the soap opera Neighbours. It suggested: Everybody needs good neighbours Just a friendly wave each morning Helps to make a better day But according to research reported this week, it’s the kind of feuding that John Smith was mocking in Downing Street that is typical of many people’s experience of neighbours, rather than the rosy picture painted by the song. According to the cultural historian Jon Lawrence, the post-war era has been one of squabbling and fraught relationships rather than a golden age of friendships in tight knit communities, as is often supposed. Living cheek by jowl makes for tensions and Professor Lawrence believes young people are forging more worthwhile friendships via social media. Professor Lawrence rightly points out that people have bought into the mythology of neighbourliness. But the origins of this ideal lie in the battle for survival in primitive societies. When the Bible makes its frequent references to loving one’s neighbour, it is referring to getting on with the fellow members of one’s tribe. Without that, you are more likely to perish. But the Bible also recognised the tensions evident between people living side by side. The ten commandments included the prohibition against envy, ordering people not to covet their neighbour’s wife, or his ox, or his donkey. A more up to date version would mention the neighbour’s new car or kitchen extension. And then there are all those other irritations, from where they put their rubbish, to their music blasting through the wall. And there, I think, is the difference between face to face experiences and the social connections made through technology. Rather than having to sort out these conflicts and learn respect for one another, online relationships can be as much a consumer choice as shopping online. You dip in and find pleasure and enjoyment. There are no obligations or need to negotiate around sensitive matters. Ultimately you don’t have to find a way of getting on because you can walk away. Plenty of us have had neighbours who’ve made us long to be able to walk away from them. But as CS Lewis put it in his book Mere Christianity, even if you don’t feel like you love them, act like it. I think that’s much more likely to help with what Professor Lawrence says dominates our culture – our urge to connect with one another.