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Episode details

Radio 4,2 mins

Brian Draper - 09/11/2019

Thought for the Day

Available for over a year

I’m the kind of introvert who likes to know - or should I say needs to know - what time the party’s meant to end, and where’s the nearest exit, just in case I need to use it sooner. So I read, with a mix of horror and fascination, a piece in the papers yesterday by an introvert who lived, for a week, in the opposite way, saying yes to every social engagement she could. The prospect, she said, was ‘as appealing as root canal treatment’. Her rash behaviour was an experiment, of course, prompted by research from the University of California in which over a hundred people were asked to act as extraverts for a week, and then as introverts the following week. Turns out they experienced more positive emotions and satisfaction as extraverts, with the research concluding that social relationships are inherently rewarding, and that we all have a need to belong and to connect with each other. Our intrepid reporter made positive connections of her own - and while she describes the process as ‘faking it’ at the dodgeball training and the rambling group, I think it’s qualitatively richer than that. In fact, it reminds me of a piece of Confucian wisdom explained by the Harvard professor Michael Puett in his book The Path, which invites you to try acting ‘as if’ something were the case. Acting ‘as if’ we were extrovert, for example, can playfully, courageously, break up patterns of normality and expectation, and help us to see that different ways are possible. It’s practical advice that could just work in any walk of life, if you try it. And you have to try it, of course, to see the results. My daughter was feeling the pressure of playing in goal for her football team, and was tempted to quit. So we discussed her trying to play ‘as if’ she were assured, and truly glad to be there, and I’m glad to say she’s an integral and confident part of the team, today. I invited participants on a Christian course I was leading, not just to believe that God loves us unconditionally, as the Bible says, but to act for the day as if it were the case, and to watch what happens when we let go of trying to prove our own worth, for instance. Faith can seem like a beautiful idea which is one step removed from reality; but acting as if God’s kingdom can be found on earth, as it is in heaven - can be a daring way of bringing it about. Getting stuck in any old familiar patterns can limit not just us but those around us, especially if we tend to withdraw. Opening ourselves to the new, for the introverts, doesn’t mean that we suddenly have to be the very life and soul; but that we can bring something more of our self to life’s party - as if, perhaps, the party just wouldn’t quite be the same without us.

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