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Where’re you going to be spending Christmas? It’s the beginning of every conversation these last few days. But it names two halves of a paradox. The first half is, we make tremendous efforts to turn up for Christmas dinner. ‘You can reach me by railway, you can reach me by trailway – I don't care how you get here, get here if you can,’ as the song goes. Half the families in the country know what makes grandma happy: to have all her chickens gathered round the table for Christmas. So we travel and travail, clear the desk and hurtle up the motorway, all to preserve her dream of a happy family. The other half of the paradox is, those days tiptoeing round each other over Christmas can be the most tense and uncomfortable time of the year. We’re infantilised by being back in our parents’ house. We’re infuriated by being with the people our siblings chose to marry. For many the whole experience is torture dressed up as celebration. This paradox, of the determination to show up in the knowledge it may be something of a trial, exposes not the hypocrisy of Christmas, but its truth. For Christmas means God shows up. God shows up in the most uncomfortable of circumstances: the unexpected pregnancy, the dodgy accommodation, the smelly shepherds, the know-all magi. Here’s a question we never ask: did God enjoy Christmas? Was it fun being born as one of us? Christmas implies God shows up regardless of whether it’s fun or quite the opposite. God shows up where children lose their parents in war; where people face the fear of diagnosis, the agony of relationship break-up, the humiliation of the food bank; where plans are destroyed, futures stolen, trust betrayed. Not for a laugh; not as a grandparent who wants to preserve the illusion that everything’s rosy; but because God wants to show us a heart that knows our grief and shares our sorrows. That’s the wonder at the heart of Christianity. There’s a secret we never utter about these next few days. Don’t tell anyone, but they’re often as much about duty as joy. The spirit of Christmas isn’t really about the mince pies, the seventies pop songs or even the gifts. It’s about one simple question. ‘Where should I be showing up?’ The question lingers. What journey do I need to be making these next few days? Maybe by showing up as a wordless baby God is showing once and for all that actions speak louder than words. At whose side do I truly belong? The Christian faith is that God answered that question by saying, ‘Yours.’ In the end it’s a question not just for God, but for all of us. Where’re you going to be spending Christmas?