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‘When we hold hatred for someone, it’s not only them who is held captive, it’s you. I refuse to give him that power.’ These are the words of Mina Smallman, whose two daughters were brutally murdered in a Wembley park, as she explains her choice to forgive on this programme two days ago. Forgiveness acknowledges the truth of the horrendous event: the young man’s guilt, his disregard for the family he hurt, and the ongoing pain and anguish of all who loved these women. Justice witnesses to this hurt; it says, we, as a society, stand with Ms Smallman and take this seriously. Judicial processes however do little to comfort those who hurt, so Ms Smallman turned to her Christian faith, and chose to forgive. Forgiveness is at the heart of Christianity; it not only defines God’s action towards humanity, but it shapes the kind of life that followers of Christ are asked to lead. The Lord’s Prayer encapsulates this, ‘forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us’. It’s not an easy line to pray, because it’s much easier to hang on to anger and hurt than to walk the long, hard road of forgiveness. Even wanting to forgive is hard work. Maybe the work is made even harder if we believe that forgiving is about giving the other a free pass, or forgetting what happened. I do not think forgiveness is either of these things. Rather, as the story of Ms Smallman shows, it is letting go of what goes beyond justice – revenge, retribution and the dehumanisation of the other person; it is about being freed for ourselves, so that we can build a better future. But if forgiveness is good for us, why is it so hard? Jesus once told his disciples they should be ready to forgive seventy times seven times, which seems outrageous! Nobody should hurt the same person that many times in a row! But there is deeper meaning to Jesus’ words. The hardest hurts to forgive are those that keep coming back to us, taking us by surprise with new grief, pain and emptiness. Deep hurts and trauma have to be forgiven again and again, because no-one can forgive today the renewed pain of tomorrow. And therein lies the wisdom of Jesus: forgiveness is a habit, something to practice daily, to aspire to, yet something we can never fully achieve. So struggling to forgive, is, well, entirely forgivable.