�鶹��

Available for over a year

Good morning. February is LGBT History Month and it has so far proven to be eventful. Last week saw the General Synod approve blessings for Anglican same sex couples for the first time. Coincidentally, it was a week ago when I went public about my marriage to my husband. �鶹�� News had the headline 'I'm a devout Sikh and married to a man', whilst Radio 4's Beyond Belief used my story to underpin a discussion about same sex marriages from a religious perspective. My husband and I didn't have a Sikh religious wedding. We visited a gurdwara shortly beforehand to discreetly pay our respects, and the Granthi or custodian of the scriptures seemed to work out from the henna on our hands that we were getting married. He offered an Ardas or prayer where he spoke of our two households coming together. To me, it felt like we had been seen by the Divine and our union had been blessed. The power of acknowledgement can be huge. Many queer people live lives where they feel they can’t be their authentic selves at all times. Often, there is a desire to hide parts of their identity or be discreet about their sexuality in certain circumstances. The sense of shame such secrecy can create is immense, and talking from my own personal experience, it can be a heavy burden to carry and a difficult one to shed. Same sex marriages are a complex issue for many faiths, including for Sikhs. I never sought a religious wedding myself because a 2005 edict by the religious leadership of the Akal Takht, the supreme Sikh authority in Punjab, explicitly prohibits the Sikh marriage ceremony for same sex couples. The head of the Akal Takht at the time stated that the concept of “same-sex marriages originated from sick minds”. There are also challenges that can come from an intersectional identity. Just as some Sikhs may be unhappy with the fact that I’m gay, over the years I have also encountered prejudice from some within the LGBTQ+ community who couldn’t understand how I could possibly be gay and religious. One such person ridiculed my turban as a ‘bandage’ and refused point blank to accept that my faith could ever be genuine. Given such reactions, I was understandably fearful of how people might respond to my sexuality. I was prepared to defend myself if needed, but I hadn’t been prepared for the outpouring of love, with messages of support from around the world. One message in particular stood out. It contained a quote from Guru Nanak which resonated entirely with me. “Truth is higher than everything; but higher still is truthful living” I am proud to be able to live my truth now, and know that my truth, as a gay Sikh married man, has been acknowledged and seen.