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My youngest son graduates today. Like thousands of students who are looking forward to their ceremonies in universities up and down the country, graduation season marks the end of an era and the beginning of a new phase. For parents, the joy can be tinged with a certain sadness at how quickly time passes. I’ve watched him work hard these past few months but also struggle, with focus and the constant anxiety that he’s not doing his best. 2 years of studying under Covid restrictions, the challenges he and his peers faced with the return to hybrid teaching, the ongoing disruption caused by university strikes, it’s taken its toll, with many students feeling demoralized and even angry that their university experience has been poor. But right across the educational spectrum in both schools and universities – I think we underestimate how difficult many young people find the exam period and the whole challenge of the competitive and stressful environment of educational attainment. Yes, each generation has had its own pressures but I also think that in these times, resilience, the ability to adapt and keep going whatever life throws at you, may not be the uncontested virtue I once thought it was. When I was young my mother would often say ` trust in God – all will be well’ and she would occasionally remind me of the Qur’anic verse, that “God doesn’t burden anyone with more than they are able to bear” – such advice may well have made me feel I should be able to cope, because faith often comforts and motivates, and being able to endure life’s hardships can be character- building. But if resilience is a virtue, it also has a dark side – where you can end up pursuing unrealistic goals, putting up with unhealthy and even toxic environments, suffering bad relationships, all situations which neither lift nor inspire us. Yes, we should encourage our children to dream big and aim high, to realise their full potential in life but in my view, not to the detriment of their long term mental and emotional well-being. Many young people have their own dreams which resist the narrative that success and attainment should be measured only by the flat world of numbers and performance indicators. At a time of rising uncertainty and isolation, young adults need to envision their life with renewed hope, in which a flourishing future is a life of purpose, a life of integrity, generosity and caring for yourself as well as others. A life where we like what we do and who we are.