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It’s a remote affair today and there are camera issues from the off. Elis looks like a billionaire, whilst John (your pixelated man on the street) and Dave look like they’re on a Zoom quiz in lockdown. The reason why we’re remote? Well, Britain’s spokesperson for intimate procedure journeys is back. And don’t worry, he’s got a metaphor based on cagoules that will easily explain everything. We also hear from friend of the show/chaos merchant Ivo Graham about Elis’s big night out last week, Elis admits that he’s let the people of Cardiff down, and John has a niche request around homophones. To get yourself in touch with the show, email hello@elisandjohn.com.