|
"The
following are reputed to be actual statements found on insurance
claim forms where car drivers attempted to summarise the details
of an accident in the fewest possible words. The instances of faulty
writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly
entertaining." says Tracey Flaxmer
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree
I don't have.
The
other car collided with mine without giving me warning of its intention.
I thought
my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through
it.
I collided
with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A pedestrian
hit me and went under my car.
The
guy was all over the road. I had to swerve several times before
I hit him.
I pulled
away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother in law and
headed over the embankment.
In
an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had
been shopping for a plant all day and was on my way home. As I reached
an inter-section a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did
not see the other car.
I had
been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had
an accident.
I was
on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
joint gave way causing me to have an accident and damage my big
end.
As
I approached the intersection a sign appeared in a place where no
stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time
to avoid the accident.
To
avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I stuck a pedestrian.
My
car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
An
invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my car and vanished.
I told
the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found
that I had a fractured skull.
I was
sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the
road when I struck him.
The
pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. So I ran over him.
I saw
a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof
of my car.
The
indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with
a big mouth.
I was
thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch
by some stray cows.
The
telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out the
way when I struck the front end.
The
accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.
I knocked
over a man, he admitted it was his fault as he'd been knocked over
before.
Got
some funnies for Skiver's Corner? Send 'em in and win
stuff!
|
