 
One
too many?
To
all the drunk women, you know it's time to go home when...
Sent in by Suzie from Preston
Definition
of Cooking Terms
Recipe:
A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients
you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the
dog won't eat the rest of...
Sent in by Tracey
How
to give a cat a pill...
It's
a piece of cake! NOT!
Sent in by Dave Almond....
Dodgy
insurance statements
An invisible
car come out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished...
Sent in by Ms G Parenti...
New
employment conditions
Sent
in by Dave Barnes... bet you're glad you don't work at the same
place, eh
A
little poem about Spell Checkers...
Alan
Richards is very impressed with his new PC, it has a very good spell
checker...
Exercise
is good for you!
Laura
Shaw tells us why exercise is good for you... not.
You're
a man if...
Thanks
to Alan for his testosterone-charged offering...
Sent in by Alan Richards
Knobbly
monsters
An appreciation
of those desperate attempts not to use the same word again... when
there is only one. Named after Paul Hudson, who was writing about
alligators when, having used up "reptiles", he resorted
to "the knobbly monsters".
Sent in by Sue Hendey
Silly
signs
Spotted
in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR...
Sent in by Joanne Gallacher
Life
Lessons from Dogs
I
like the bit about taking lots of naps...
Sent in by Chris Mills
Differences
Between Men And Women
A man
will pay £2 for a £1 item he wants. A
woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't want...
Sent
in by Kirsty
Mollie
grabs a "pizza" the action
Mollie
was so impressed with our grub-related ludicrous list, she's come
up with a whole fridge full of food related silly stuff! Don't read
it til after lunch though, it'll make you hungry!
Sent in by Mollie Matthews
More
daft questions...
Why
is a carrot more orange than an orange? Why do you press harder
on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Sent in by Debbie from Morecambe
When
I win the Lotto...
He went
down to the showroom and sat in the car of his dreams...
Sent in by Debbie from Morecambe
Who?
Why? What? When? Where?
Suzie
from Preston has all the answers... to some very strange questions...
Sent in by Suzie
Only
in America...
Only
in America...... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Sent in by Bernice
Porrazzo
Age
Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
"Recently,
I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit
Disorder. This is how it manifests.."
Sent in by Gabby
Parenti
Something
for the older woman...
I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it...
Sent in by Debbie from Morecambe
English
is tough stuff
Coffee break time? Print this off and test your work mates, see
who can read it correctly all the way through...
Sent in by Harry Nuttall
Letter
from a schoolgirl
I entered my daughter's bedroom and saw a letter over the bed. With
the worst premonition, I read it with trembling hands...
Sent in by Sallie Carter
Alien
Dancing Pants
Simon's ditty on these dangerous pants...
Sent in by Simon Tinsley
How
to be annoying
Don't do all these at once!
Sent in by Andrew Hindley
You
know you're living in 2004 when...
You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three...
Sent in by Peter from Clitheroe.
Delia
v 'Real Woman'
Never mind Delia's tips, you'd be better off doing it the Real Woman's
way...
Sent in by Alison
The
Pied Piper
Christina's Piped Piper joke with a twist...
Sent in by Cristina
McDowall
More
rules for the office
Top tips to avoid work, and aggro off the boss!
Sent in by Irene Richards
Did
you hear the one about the alien?
Loads of alien jokes...
Sent in by Pentium Sam
New
Rules For Employment
Be grateful you don't work somewhere like this...
Sent in by Anon
Management
lessons
Words of wisdom to help you get to the top!
Sent in by Tracey Townsend
Metaphor
madness
"These are metaphors from actual GCSE essays - who said the
Literacy Hour's not paying off?"
Sent in by Dave Coffey
Hits
and headlines
More daft newspaper stories from Lisa.
Sent in by Lisa H
Read
all about it
Thanks to Irene B. for sending in such thought provoking newspaper
headlines as "Enraged
Cow Injures Farmer with Axe"
Sent in by Irene B
Island
of Adventure
Ed finally decides to take a holiday. He books himself on a Caribbean
cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life, until the boat
sinks...
Sent in by Chris Bolton
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