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 You
have two choices in life:
1) You can stay single and be miserable,
2) You can get married and wish you were dead.
At
the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you
wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women
replied,
"Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same
thing:
"You can have mine."
When
a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to
let her keep him.
A
woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost
to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know
son, I'm still
paying."
Son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't
know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country,
son.
Then
there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness
was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If
you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go
out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?
First guy: "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're
lucky, mine's still alive."
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive
to the opposite sex.
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