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How
do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
How
do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
What
do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
What
do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
What
do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
What
do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.
What
do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What
do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
What
do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What
do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What
has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree
would kill you?
A pool table.
What
is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What
lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What's
the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Where
do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
Why
are there so many Johnsons in the phone book?
They all have phones.
Why
do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.
Why
do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
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