...and the banter
just keeps on coming!
Ìý
Question
from Jack Stewart: After
the Crimewatch sketch with Ronald Villiers, can you give us your best Crimewatch
face to the webcam?
Ford: You'll see
this in about 30 seconds, pal, cos there's a delay wi' this thing. And it's pixelated!
Â鶹Éç Host: Ford grabs the paper doily from under his nuts and peers through
it.
Question
from Garry Fitzpatrick: Why
do you never do any sketches regarding football fans ie Celtic and Rangers?
Greg: It's covered
very well by Only An Excuse.
Ford: We're pish
at fitba.
Greg: A bit like
Dunfermline.
Question
from Haris McMan: I
used tae go tae a drama school called PACE, in this series will we be seeing a
lot of my PACE buddies?
Ford: Yes you will,
we use PACE a lot.
Question
from Stevo Yabas: How
come u don’t make sketches slagging people from Edinburgh?
Greg: It's too far
away.
Ford: They're makin'
a good enough job theirsels!
Greg: This show's
aboot Scotland and everyone knows Edinburgh's in England.
Question
from Mike Enstone:
What is the punchline to Ford's favourite joke?
Ford: Wears the
candle, doesn't it?
Ford: I'm going
to eat grass - you brace yourself!
Question
from Neil Ferrisey: Is
it true you had to tone down the jokes to allow the English to understand the
banter?
Greg: Eh, no.
Ford: No, we had
to tone down the banter to let the English understand the programme.
Question
from Ballistic Bob:
Is Ballistic Bob representative of any of your own natures?
Ford: Keep watching!
(attempts to wreck webcam).
Ford: Ask anybody
that's tried to tune in a VCR with a hangover.
Question
from Helen C: Why
don’t you come out to the sticks for some new material? eg Coatbridge, plenty
characters there!
Ford: Away and gie's
peace!
Question
from Mike from Liverpool: Have
either of you ever done any stand up?
Ford: Both of us.
That's how we met.
Greg: Aye, standin'
up!
Question
from Yvonne Chalmers: Are
either of you married? I thought that Greg was married to Julie Nimmo, but I've
noticed that she isn't in the new series! What's all that about? (if you don't
mind me asking?!?)
Greg: I'm married
to Julie, she's not in the new series cos she had a baby.
Question
from John MacFarlane: Do you feel responsible for all the Glesga kids with twisted
nipples?
Ford: Very sad.
Greg: Pretty sad,
actually. We should've thought long and hard about that. We had some crackin'
wedgie sketches! It could've been worse than sore nipples!
Ford: Consider yersels
lucky - it could've been Scanty Man!
Question
from Scott Morrison: Which
is better Greg? The Live Floor Show or Chewin the Fat?
Greg: Chewin' the
Fat.
Ford: The Live Floor
Show!
Comment
from John Alan:
I know a wee burd who nipped your mate Paul from the show and she said he’s hung
like a wasp!!!
Ford: (Â鶹Éç Host: Once
he'd stopped laughing!) She should consider hersel lucky - all the other birds
he's stung are at the bottom of the Clyde!
Question
from Charli Clayton: Greg,
r u really Canadian or is it just patter to make you sound interesting?
Greg: Er ... yes!
Ford: The questions
better start gettin' interesting, there's only 5 mins left.
Question
from Bonnie Earl: Do
you think your comedy could travel to Europe or even the States?
Greg: It's already
been sold to Germany, France, Poland, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria…
Ford: …and we're
speaking to Fox in America!
Question
from Neill Dorans: Is
series 4 going to be released on video?
Ford & Greg: Yes.
Greg: Christmas?
Ford: November.
Question
from Joe Wall: How
long does it take to write the average series?
Ford: An average
series, we would write in about 5 minutes. An excellent series takes about 6 months.
Question
from Gonk Dobber: Did
you get any royalties from the Chewin' the Fat rave song that was going about
last year?
Ford: Unfortunately
the royalty was Fergie, which isn’ae quite royal!
Greg: No, we didn't.
Question
from Jay: Who is
the guy who whistles his S based on?
Ford: He's based
on a guy that I met who just whistled when he spoke.
Question
from Karen Smith: My
son wants to know what’s the brown stuff you use in the sewers?
Ford: It's real
sh*t.
Greg: We learned
that from De Niro.
Ford: We're Stanislavsky
trained.
Question
from Kath Pedersen: What's
the fascination with peas?
Greg: Peas are just
funny. Don't you agree?
Question
from Aly Turner: Where
did you get the title "Chewin' The Fat from?
Ford: It was nearly
called The Missing Finger. And the other one was, Your Baws Are Cheesy. Aye, Yer
Maw, was another possibility.
Question
from Adam Cairns: Why
are you killing off the lighthouse keepers.
Greg: Cos we were
worried that people were going to tire of them…
Ford: …and Virgin
bought the Lighthouse.
Question
from Nik Price: Does
'doin the Big Man give you a sore throat?
Ford: What's it
got to dae wi you, fanny baws? I'll gie you a sore throat!
Question
from Lobby Dosser: Why
the fascination with cheesy baws?
Greg: Why not?
Ford: There's nothing
fascinating about them.
Â鶹Éç Host:
Last question coming
up...
Question
from Scott Morrison: Will
we be seeing the Glasweigan cowboys tonight?
Ford: Yes, in about
3 minutes, so f**k off! Greg: Ya e-pr*cks.
Comment
from Marc Clift: A
sketch to do with "yer maw’s crabs on a piece" would make a good sketch - wit
dae ya hink?
Â鶹Éç Host: Couldn't
resist that one - snuck in at the end.
Greg: Ye canny throw
yer piece tae yer crabby weans oot a twenty storey flat.
Â鶹Éç Host:
A final word from
the guys...
Greg & Ford: Thanks
for having us. Youse will never amount to f**k all.
Â鶹Éç Host:
Such nice boys!
Check out what the guys had to say
last time they popped
in for a chat.
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Why not join
us over on and talk
about
your favourite sketches and characters?
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